joeljoeljoel's Journal

last night she called me and i called back, i pretended i was over her and she seemed sad.I couldnt do it i am to weak it hurt my heart the heart she still houlds to hear any sorrow in her voice. I confessed my repressed pain and made her aware of my feelings. Its not over for me i will still be cursed with the images of us together everthing reminds me of her every song, every subject, somehow it will bring her in my mind. I tried honest i did, i tried to drink her away with no success. I tried to prove sex was not something special but i couldnt cheat on her...im not dating her but i still love her so its not right for me to do anything with anyone else...right.I dont know i am new to love but i think everyone is, in todays world love is looking like a casual thing that comes and goes without a second thought.I dont think that is right, but i lost it so i cant really talk. There are other people i guess that i could potentaily love but i am a really weak person i need it fast and when i have it i dont want to let it go nomatter what. She said she missed me and i told her i missed her too. she said everything reminds her of me, i said me too, she said that she was thinking about getting bck together with me. I never thought something like that could make me feel so happy, it is not certain its probably not going to happen but i would rather try and get hurt then not try at all. i dont feel that bad though if it dosnt work this time i have wonderful friends that make me feel good and proud i have to be a good person to have such wonderful people in my life. i love my friends they give me strenth everyday, i hope one day to return the favor to them they do not know how much they help me

Current Mood: confused

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